Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Woop Woop!

Every region has awful people. However, what makes awful people awful is sometimes inherent to the region they come from. Just like the “Jersey Shore” gang can only come from my home state, the meth-addled, wrestling-loving, magnet-studying clown family that is the Juggalos can only come from the Midwest where the Faygo flows like water.

For the past like dozen years, this group of freethinking fans of the Insane Clown Posse and their Psychopathic Records label has been putting together this music/freshness festival called “The Gathering of the Juggalos” where they can escape the mainstream and play the neden game to their heart’s content. While I’ve been aware of these ninjas for some time now, when they put out the truly spectacular infomercial for last’s year gathering, they skyrocketed up my “ironic appreciation” list right alongside James Franco and “Monster High.” The latest infomercial has now arrived so I’ve decided to share my thoughts in list form for you guys to peep.

1. Maybe it is the nostalgia talking, after all who forgets their first, but I don’t think this one tops last year’s which really does get more quote-worthy and funnier for different reasons every time I watch it.

2. The zombie theme starts strong with phrases like “Freshness Compound” and “Director of Freshness” but most of the video is just relatively straightforward act announcements and nonsensical close-ups.

3. The narrator too is more is generically authoritative rather than ridiculously insulting.

4. It ends strong though with a frighteningly bizarre non-sequitur.

5. It’s a little shorter than last year’s and that combined with the more legitimate, professional-seeming presenters (only Sugar Slam returns and Vanilla Ice’s absence is really felt) leads me to believe that perhaps this is an attempt to not be as openly mocked as before.

6. Still, with events like the “Dirty Dirty Party” and hatchetman logos that look way too much like swastikas, mockery of Juggalos, who are classified as gangs in some places, is inevitable.

7. Master P, George Clinton, Danny Brown, Raekwon, DMX, Jamie Kennedy, Bobcat Goldthwait and Cheech and Chong all continue prove how weirdly powerful and independently wealthy the family is.

8. Still, a lot of that footage looks re-used and made up of music videos from 1997.

9. Michael Jackson Tribute band?

10. The best part though is that for as ridiculous as this all is, this is still the creepy but weirdly sincere, “cleaned up” version of how Juggalos choose to present themselves to the world. The truth is far more sinister.

Unrelated, the “Black Dynamite” cartoon is pretty great.

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