Saturday, August 13, 2011

Mind Dump 6- The White Shark Trilogy

I said in the very first mind dump that I think the idea of a “greatest white shark” has potential to be a movie. After all, if something like Shark Night 3D can exist, why not bring some more high concept elements to the “shark attack” subgenre of horror movies. Without Deep Blue Sea, no one would’ve known that sharks that can swim backwards are super smart and/or able to kill Sam Jackson.

So after thinking about this for way longer than necessary, I’ve imagined out not one, but a trilogy of movies(?) based around this concept that I would like to share with you now.

Part 1- The Great White Shark
Guess what? There’s a great white shark and he terrorizes a coastal town or something. This initial chapter is more about getting the audience to accept the idea that the titular shark is the protagonist, not Richard Dreyfuss or whoever.

Part 2- The Greater White Shark
One day the great white shark is just minding his own business when THE GREATER WHITE SHARK shows up to like, I don’t know, terrorize the town thereby encroaching on the great white shark’s turf. They fight and the great white shark manages to repel the greater white shark despite what their names would suggest, but the two form an everlasting grudge. SHARK ON SHARK VIOLENCE!

Part 3- The Greatest White Shark
However, the mortal enemies the great white shark and the greater white shark are forced to put aside their hatred for this, the final installment. When the all-powerful and honorless GREATEST WHITE SHARK arrives to kill everyone and everything, only the combined efforts of the great white shark and the greater white shark have a chance at stopping him. Also, since Dracula is in the public domain, the greatest white shark is also known in some circles as Underwater Dracula. Also, also to cut down on the budget you shoot this one back-to-back with The Greater White Shark a la The Matrix sequels.

Of course there would be all these life metaphors and social commentaries throughout for those who want something more with their shark carnage. But for the rest of us, there is plenty of shark carnage.

Maybe the Discovery Channel will play it during shark week?


next time, an octopus

not to be confused with The White Dog Trilogy. No racism here. Just sharks

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