The President America Deserves but Not the One it Needs Right Now

Herman Cain

Bane

Herman Bane

Halloween 2012

Why Do I Own This?: Bane Coat

I don't know.

Old Stuff Part 9- Glueman Origins

Newsflash! I was a weird little kid who did a lot of weird little stuff. How else would expect something like 300 pages of Pie Planet comic strips to be made? What I’m sharing today though is perhaps the first recorded example of my strange desire to wed creativity that borders on non-sequitur with stupidly elaborate story arcs. I’m talking about the comics I drew in like 1st grade: The Quest of Glueman and Crew. It would’ve been "The Adventure" instead of "The Quest" but I didn’t know how to spell that at the time.

In Which I Come to Terms with Comic Book Movies

I don’t read comics. I sort of know a lot about them but trying to maintain decades’ worth of inter-connected fictions has created worlds as impenetrable as they are ridiculous. I used to watch a lot of comic book cartoons though and I still do watch a lot of comic book movies. They give the interesting characters and ideas a more comprehensible place to shine. However, now that this summer’s Avengers, Spider-Man, Batman triumvirate has come and gone, I find myself far less excited for the future of the genre.

Black Spider-Man

The following post was inspired by this amazing, hilarious video recently shown to me by a friend.

So I Saw Captain America...

Okay, so the plan now is to try for one or two new posts a week. I've got enough ideas to keep that up. also here's a link to a thing I wrote for this site called JoeCrazy.com. The Top 5 Weirdest Fighting Game Crossovers

The best thing about this great movie is that it feels complete. Like the war movies Captain America: The First Avenger is emulating, its story is epic in scope. It makes sense when you consider how long it would take a vaguely impotent weakling like Steve Rogers to not only become Captain America but also wage this whole secret war against Hugo Weaving and German Karl Rove/Toby Jones’s alternate Nazis. It tells the saga of this man and his legacy as a symbol which is exactly what a Captain America movie should be. And all of the comic trappings will just help it dissociate itself from any of the real-world political stuff that would threaten to bring it down. It’s fun, action-packed, sweet, tragic, nostalgic and dignified. Unfortunately for Marvel, that feeling of completeness, for me, would render any sequel unnecessary at best and a cheapening of the franchise at worst. At least, if they were set in WWII again.

Comic cartoons and the movies they exist solely to promote

This summer saw the release of a lot of comic movies (and there are still more coming) and you know what that means, cartoons based on comics designed for coasting on the new found popularity the movies bring to a franchise.

Now while making cheap cash-in children’s cartoons based on movies is nothing new (see Beetlejuice, Ace Ventura and… Robocop) with comics it’s a little different. Because so many comic book movies come out and get sequels, I’ve noticed this strange phenomenon where a series will get created to follow-up on one movie, go through its run, and end before the next sequel comes out which then requires another series be made.

Mind Dump 5- The Devil and Nic Cage, plus more shout-outs

This is a momentous mind dump because not only is it the first to be formed as a single story Linguistic Gimmicks style, but it is also the first to be presented in a revolutionary new format called video.

But first I wanted to remind you, as I will periodically do, that if you support this kind of nonsense from me then you can follow or subscribe through the box on the top right of this page




MORE AFTER THE BREAK

So I Saw Green Lantern…

In case I haven’t said it before, I kind of like movies based on comics. Sometimes my comic knowledge makes me criticize a movie in ways average fans would never think of doing but other times it makes me more accepting of movies everyone else seems to hate.

With that in mind here’s what I thought on the comic-based, critically-reviled “Green Lantern” a.k.a guy with ring that makes stuff.

So I saw X-Men: First Class...

Let’s do this again

So I saw Thor...

The arrangement of the words is supposed to remind you of a hammer I guess

I'm real busy so there's little time for posts. Also the next topic I want to cover is kind of a big deal.

But in the meantime, here's a partial list my immediate Thor movie reactions...

A Toy that Eats Other Toys and Other Great Villains (MANY PRETTY PICTURES!)

After my first brush with controversy, (on this blog at least), I’m back with another comic post. Just one that’s less inflammatory. Also be sure to check out the new, more open comment system. Now anyone can call me an idiot for not liking Thor.



To me, one of the saddest and most absurd facts about our world is that Orson Welles’ last role was Unicron, the villain of the 1986 animated Transformers movie. Let me reiterate that. The man who made Citizen Kane, arguably the greatest movie ever, died three months after voicing a robot that turned into a planet or “a toy that eats other toys”.

Why Thor Sucks and Wonder Woman isn’t quite as bad

There’s a wonderful movie studio called The Asylum that stays in business putting out movies that sound like movies you may have heard of (but not porn) like Snakes on a Train, The Day the Earth Stopped, Transmorphers and its sequel Transmorphers: Fall of Man. That last gem features one Bruce Boxleitner a.k.a. Tron a.k.a. the guy whose only thing he’s got going on is Tron.

Today I came across a trailer for their next “mockbuster” Almighty Thor, featuring, of all people, the second chick that played Marta on "Arrested Development."

Now this may be a shameless attempt to cash in on Marvel’s upcoming Thor movie but once I got to thinking I realized, unlike Asylum’s usual movies based on sleazy slight name-altering and public domain plundering, they have every right to make this movie. Marvel doesn’t own Thor and the fact that they sort of act like they do kind of bothers me.