Why Do I Own This? : Laser Pointer

I make a fair amount of dumb, ironic purchases of things like Tron discs, Stitch hands and Babysitting Mama. But few have as much potential to destroy physical objects than this 200 MW Green Laser Pointer I paid $30 for on Amazon.





This consumer product is a class III laser device and since pointing it at planes can blind pilots, shining it at them can lead to major FAA fines. I wonder how they could (back)trace it to one person but I don’t want to take that risk.

I bought this after stumbling upon this article comparing laser pointers of different colors. I was interested in learning what separated a green one from a yellow one from a red one. Little did I know that this would enlighten me to a whole, fascinating subcommunity of laser pointer enthusiasts complete with forums giving detailed instructions on how to burn stuff with them.

So naturally I bought by own, and through demonstrations like the one you saw above, encouraged my friends to do the same. I swear, next year’s suite is going to look like something out of Splinter Cell. Oddly enough, it was only after replacing the packed-in batteries did the laser start popping balloons. I’m convinced the manufacturer purposefully included underpowered batteries to sabotage this kind of nonsense, as well as stealth harassment. BUT WE WILL NOT BE STOPPED!





Green Laser>Green Lantern